Friend Lust

You look across a room of people you're about to meet. You, like a scanner, view everyone that catches your eye from top to toe. Infinitely frightened, infinitely exhilarated; you approach some people. You mingle. You engage in small talk. You chat with a group of people.

In the midst of a conversation your eyes drift off to the other edge of the room, and you see a girl laughing. It's as if you're looking at someone you've known your whole life. You know everything about this person; their usual hangout spot, the shade of lipstick they always wear, the kind of cigarettes they smoke and why, the movie they watch over and over again but never get bored of, their favourite ice cream flavour, the only breakfast food they know how to cook - everything.

But you don't approach them. They will never want to speak to a low-life like you. Or maybe they will. Maybe, just maybe, they'd make chit-chat about the weather with you, fake a smile at you, and one-arm hug you. You know you could be more than that, because you know this person. In and out. So you try your luck. You're two steps away from this person but no air resonates through your voice-box.

And you realise that you've no idea who this person is; that your silly mind has made up a projection of what you want this person to be. And if you're lucky, you'd realise this before you douse yourself in this friend-lust for too long, before you gather the strength to coax this person into being friends with you and you realise that this is a lie.